Missing you has become part of my life now....
Somehow like a habit that can't be corrected...
Time seems so hard to pass when things were finally made clear...
The tiny whiny hurt was already there...
Tried to cover it with some other things but...useless...

Just like what I said "your not mine to begin with..." I know it that's for real...




So many things.... ME = Unhappy.



Clubbing when your upset...makes things even worst... (Already Tested.)

Thank God for answering my prayer...It has been a year since you left...Many things have happened within that very year. Circumstances, Situation forces me to be someone I am not... Yesterday Received your msg...I am so so happy. Tears with Joy. Finally, my girl is back... You always have a special place in my heart. Met you up... things have really changed so much between the 2 of us. The feeling of us back then is much more happier than yesterday.

You said I changed alot...Yea indeed. wilder i guess?
I am so happy even seeing you one more time...but on the way home...your msg crashes my heart. Your disappointed with me...the word disappointed really pull me down to the deepest of my heart where i hide all my saddest things.Trying to lock myself in that cold dark room where no one can enter...
You told me all that has happened during the year...
I wanted so much to be there encouraging you as your my dearest friend. but I was never given a chance...

I wanted so much to talk to you when I am in my sad times, you were not there...
Wanting to share with you my happiest times, you were not there...
You are the very first girl, I brought to Christ...being a leader over you...

Yea i have changed for the worst i guess...typing this with tears in my eyes...
Things will never be the same anymore...
I am a failure as a leader...should I step down?
Asked God today..."if she is disappointed with me...God,i guess your even disappointed with me right?"
I had high expectations for myself. I dropped from a high point to the lowest point...
I don't know what to do...
But am Glad your back talking to me...
I am not blaming you or saying you but I am blaming myself...


Realised that so many unhappiness... I have been suppressing it into my heart...didn't vent out at all.. my heart is so painful that i can hardly breathe right now. I will be fine I guess...


You told me you don't wanna lead me on...
Feelings is so real but is for me to leave untouched...
I believed your a good person but you said your not...
So your trying to Push me to another guy?
It hurts my heart even more......
Just hope that you will not regret whatever your decision is... cox can't turn back anymore...


Guess your not mine to begin with...






I am going on a vacation soon...i hope. with Charisssa..hope she can go... either Aussie, HK or Taiwan.

HAHAHA!!! maybe i can get a new job of being a R/S consultant! Yesterday talked to a guy friend...feeling confused. His msn nick before talking to him was "Should I or Should I not?" after i talked to him it changed to " I've been enlighten. stay clear and focused." WA, WA, WA!!! i Didn't know what i say impacted you so much MR! haha! then met Charissa aftermath. Talked to her abt R/S thingy again! Really la if maybe there is a job abt r/s consultant maybe maybe i will go for it as a part timer! hahaha! LAME! Sometimes I guess is easier for an outsider(which is me) to oversee everything...That's why i can't save myself from being in a deep shit when I'm in a confused state...haha.. haha! Tonight is the day that gonna dance dance shake shake! with my Primary school bestie!! update more tmr! byes!

"Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day"



The 2 parts of the lyrics above from my bloggy song...I find it meaningful...it relates to alot of things and people in my life. OK...this song is EMO! but but with alot of meanings.
Reflected alot of things as I am listening to this song over and over again. Yea indeed, I came a long way as some of you know... all the way back from secondary school...If everything ends during my secondary school times...I will not be even typing here in my blog. In health area, I went through quite a far bit. but is not easy battling alone. The loneliness, the pain...is so unbearable at times...I wanted to vent out everything but it seems that is stuck inside my heart. I don't want my parents to be upset over me...so i chose to Suffer in silence? maybe... i look like a strong lady but inside I am not.Seriously not. Sometimes, i chose to run away from the problem rather than facing it. Cox the consequences is dire...


Sometimes i think...am i a failure being in my family? am i a failure as with my friends? am i a failure being a leader? am i a failure in my life? so so so many questions just pop out into my mind. which i tried to answer but can't even dig out a tiny whiny answer from myself... inside...

feeling so emotional that feelings just keep coming out and trying to hold back as much as i can... Hanging on the cliff, trying to climb up but seems like I am going to fall anytime. Help? Who's there to help except God? I'm just childish at times.. Tried to be independent, trying to walk on my own without anybodies help but all the more I feel I am weaker this way...Ain't I? ha....


I am feeling fine just that thoughts just keep flowing through my mind. so i decided to just blog it down... I'm just a emotional person i guess trying to fight through storms alone...is not easy at all...

Maybe I should just forget the whole thing. Stop getting confused. No use i guess. Being silly me. Trying & trying....


Forget it........

Got this from Charissa's bloggy....
i want to jus thanks thanks thanks and love love love to my dear vonvon thanks for bringing joy and laughter to me ...meeting me and hearing me...though at times im jus repeating myself o'ver and o'ver and o'ver again..want to let u knoe u are close to my heart (:

That's really sweet of her! Thanks Girl!




After a sleep everything will be better?

Before...

This is HIGHLY recmmended by me! Will be found at Tampm 1, basement the jap snacks shop! you will not regret getting it!

Okays!! finally after so many weeks of wanting to order Mac Delivery....I finally ordered today! The previous times I didn't get to order is because of the rainy weather so yups! today is the day! haha! haiss...not meeting Xiao poh tonight cox due to her work...so last minute...stupid boss keep asking her to stay for OT...*PUI,pui,PUI* hahaha!oops! haha guess she also quite pissed....lol! YEah! my Food has arrived!! I think i will be going home early tonight...wa, this few days i have been home super early!! ok byebye!

Isn't she adorable? Enthia is wearing the dress I gave her!haha! Love Love her!


Today, Monday...I started off cleaning the showcases and hamsters tanks immediately i opened the shop! Started around 12.30pm till end time is 3.30pm i think. Didn't feel the tiredness until I really sat down on the chair to rest.haha! old le la! haha! Gonna meet Xiao poh tomorrow for a chill out time after work... Guess she wanna share her secrets to me..haha! We'll be like crazy girls laughing to ourselves real loud! That's the part i enjoyed!! wahaha!!! She injured her back recently...take care ah girl! I will heart ache you know?haha!(i typed this cause i know you will read my bloggy hahaha!) Shall update more tomorrow.


Congrats that your finally taking out your braces!=)




My poor Fei is stuck in camp....doing duty...(-.-''') *pat Fei*



Anyways...I am meeting my Primary School bestie this Saturday!!! It has been a long time i saw her! miss her lot's!

My off day is coming again!! can't wait to just NUA on my bed in the morning! hahaha!

You wanna know what you lied?? Fine I will tell you.
You said that He is controlling you during the r/s period & I believed in you like one dumb ass hole but what you said to me yesterday is totally the OPPOSITE!!. The truth is you are the one controlling him. This very one lie maybe small but it kills the friendship. Anyway is already over. Never mind forget it. This morning when i woke up i had a stupid quarrel with my dad. So ridiculous! I was told another news that My old neighbour that brought me up has passed away from a fall yesterday night. WHY so many things have been happening in my life? In like just one night? HAIS... Give me some ideas to vent it all out... Put your ideas in my tag board.

Trying so hard to hang in there...


My heart feels so burdened...


My very next step defines me to either lose a friend or gain it.



Just want things to be simple but it never did



Feelings are all being suppressed inside my heart.



Additional stress..Guess that's my life.



Hopefully I can manage my emotions..

Is hard being a nice person...
so hard that no matter how nice I am...I guess people take me for granted...
Call me a KW person...-Fine,
Call me a selfish person...-Fine,
Say that I don't care about my friends problems...-Fine
Say that I am childish at times...-Fine
Say that I am serious and can't take jokes...-Fine
Say that i broke my verbal promise...- Fine
Say that I am not steady...-Fine
Say that I PS my friends...-Fine
Say that I only care about myself and not other people...-Fine


FINE, FINE & FINE! I DON'T GIVE A DAM TO ANY OF YOU RIGHT NOW AT THIS MOMENT! WHAT FOR I PUT IN SO MUCH BUT I GET SHIT BACK?! TALK ALL YOU WANT! JUST REMEMBER THERE'S A LIMIT TO WHAT I CAN TAKE...
That's why I say "TALK IS CHEAP IN THIS GENERATION..WHICH HURTS PEOPLE UNKNOWINGLY. "

This is my personal blog.so I can type whatever i want here. if you don't like JUST SHOO OFF! will be better for you i guess!

can don't talk to me.I am alright with it.


Sometimes i guess... maybe I am not yet a qualified 24/7 dustbin for people to throw out their unhappiness.. hahaha...
Am i doing a bad job? I don't know...DAM DAM DAM! F****!=


Smile and everything will be fine?

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO.(:

Free Counter


Yvonne!!
Age:secret!!sshhhh
Single but UNAVAILABLE


-I can be fun at times but I can be really Serious.

-Don't step on me if not I will step back at you a 100 times

-Hates people to betray my trust and take my words for granted

-Always has a smile on my face but you'll never know my inner side

-Takes time to warm up to know new people

Loves to laugh out loud with my close friends

Loves Big Sunglasses, Sunflower!

A Shoulder

to

Lean on

Wants to continue to learn drumming

To own a Full set of Drums

Wants to learn dance.





NAils
Divaspree
Juan wei
Dekk & Mic
Gucci
Burberry(UK)
Burberry(Sing)
nicoconut
Langer
Yo Zhii
Enthia tan
Vivian
Karen(cousin)
Jeremy(cousin)
Sheryl(cousin)
CellGroup
Beth
Tiffany
Hui Xian
Sherry
Inessablle
Xiao Poh
Emily
Wandee
Pei Jen
Youthnet
FCBC
Vashon
Joseph
Flavian
The little pet shop
Zachary- Jie Ke
Heng
Kat
Irene
Peishan
Shufen
Eileen
Mei Zhen
Angel
Ying Jun
SHannon
GIGI


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